Flavoroflife's Weblog

.moving??.

miszunderstood — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 01:07:23 +0000

After nearly one and a half months, the blog should be expecting exciting title, but not MOVING!

Yup, I think I have to say ta-ta to wordpress. I need to put my slides. I love slides. and youtube. I don’t want to pay, unless anyone can tell me the cheap and free way to put them here.

Ideas anyone??

Anyway, if nothing avail, I’ll be moving (again!). I’ll let u guys know when everything settled. Taaa~~

A month after

miszunderstood — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 16:34:46 +0000

It is already a month? I’m sorry Cik Shai for not updating. And to be frank, I think you’re the only one keen on reading my blog. I’m having soooooooooooooooooooooo much fun over here, time is only a blink away.

First & foremost, I looooove my ‘company’ so much. Here, we’re divided into groups and we called it company. Our classroom is our office and we have our own CEO, Deputy, and heads of various department. Being the outstanding yet gila glam me, I voluntered myself to be the deputy, only knowing later I’ve another girl, nominated by others to fight. Of course I didn’t won. Who me to compare with that cute little girl, but I know, I have more capabilities than her (hehe, ayat riak x hengat)

We called ourselves Greenity. I know, it sounds tacky and dodgy. I’ve tried my very best to shed away the dodginess, hence Greenity is definitely acceptable. And guess what?? I’m the admin of Greenity’s blog. Alaaa, u know la me kan, always enthusiastic to do this & that. But no matter how dodgy Greenity is, we, somehow clicked together. Since day 1. No matter where we go, we sticked together. It’s like we’re destined to be together to interwined and create history. Haha!!

So far, we had 3 major programmes. The first was Telematch, which we miserably failed. I’ve knew it from the start. All of us, we’re not dat athletic and mind you, guys is definitely an endangered species over here. Because of that, I decided to have group cheers. Jismin and cheer have been associated since birth. I get to go to Bukit Merah Laketown Resort with the whole MARESMART’s sport team, as th team manager really appreciated my spirits in conducting those cheers. Sugoi – ne?? And so we took our time of from practicing for our Musical Day performance and we focus on the Group Cheer. Along the way, some of my colleagues suggested that we have Poster and big Playcard holding each letter for GREENITY. Who knows, our effort was recognized by the Vice President, Human Capital Management of Khazanah Nasional. Most importantly, moi get noticed. Class you.

As like said before, we’re prone to arts & creativity department. We managed to get 1st place for our Musical Day. I was the director, main actor, but I truly owed basically everything to my team mates. They did the backdrops and managed the wardrobe brilliantly, I must salute them. We did simple sketches from ‘The Sound Of Music’. At first, all of us just mimed thru the performance. But then, there were few groups that totally dissatisfied we that, and so all of us practice and sing the song, accompanied by faint voices of Maria and the children. So, eat your hearts out competitors.

And today, I just came back from our Teambuilding at Geting. That, will be another entry.

And please believe in me, besides enjoying myself in the GREEN Programme, I have other activities too. Such as the spectacular P Ramlee The Musical that I watched with Shai, Masni, Iza and Farizzett. U guys can read it from Masni’s cool scrap book -blog version of it *Cool Job, Babe!!”

This Sunday, I’ll have the 1st MRSM Gerik Family Day. I’m all set & excited to attend it. Me miss my Gerik frens sooo much.

More stories later, I promise you. And as for now, no pictures inside any entries. The wifi here is too slow, I feel like killing myself while waiting for a page to load.

.new beginning, perhaps?

miszunderstood — Thu, 29 May 2008 09:51:34 +0000

30/05/08 will be my last day working at my current company. I’ve decided to join the GRE*EN thingy. It will commence on the 1st of June and I need to stay at this hostel place (yeah, so back to hostel life) in Cheras for 2 months and then I’ll head for the 10 month training anywhere they want to sent me (Let’s just hope it’s around KL)

On another note, I’m looking for housemate. Apartment is at Pelangi Damansara. The Apartment. Not the Pelangi Damansara the Condo. I’m not sure about the rent & whatsoever but will find out about it soon.

So, what’s Miss Jismin’s activities lately? PD hols, which was actually nearly 2 weeks ago. It has been a hectic weeks, with my 1st kazen from my mum side engagement. We were sooooooo excited bout this, and since I love to criticize about everything, I criticize a lot about the house. And believe me, if you looked at the tents, the tokens the soon-to-be bride gave to guests, the room deco – you will think it’s a wedding already. Still waiting for edited pictures from my uncle, so that have to wait.

During the Wesak hols, the KL clan of Haji Maon decided to spent the short hols at PD. It’s like a routine in the family. One must visit PD at least once a year. So off we go the big & spacious TNB condo. Nothing much, the usual stuff. Cousins catching up & gossippings, mandi laut (w00t!!!), karaoke -ing.

Well, speaking of karaoke, all of us felt unsatisfied with the service. We booked the Private Room, as malu laaa nak menanyi melalak in the public lounge kan. Turns out, the Private Room’s songs selection are all out dated. Like within less than 1 hour, we felt bored already and we totally envied those people outside. I even make out a note, via the microphone “Kenapa lagu banyak x sedap” and all the cousins laughed at my silliness. I really do hope the karaoke chaperon heard my retorts.

And on Sunday, after 2 hours of mandi laut-banana boat-beach ball activities, during the evenings, the cousins decided to ronda-ronda PD. We decided to stop at this beach side, which we need to pay rm3 for the parking (what the h***??). But since we’re already there and it’s kinda hard to U-turn we surrender to the Parking Space Collector. The beach turns out prettier than the normal beach. Oke JUST the sands. It’s prettier and they have some cool huts. And that’s it. We have no matt, no old newspaper; just sitting there looking at other people bermandi manda.

Knowing how the camera loves me (or the other way around) and since we have pretty sand-beach, I decided to take several jump shots. Hehehe. And I managed to infect those virus to the cousins. Action speaks louder than words rite, so better savour the pix.

Yeah, I’m proud to have crazy-xtau malu-photogenic-cam whoring cousins. We rock!!

On another note, here’s my next activity. And Shai, ekau nk jimat bole la tumpang ‘musuh ketat’ ekau tu haaa. Dua2 from Shah Alam. Jimat haaaa. Hehehe.

Eyh, ada lagi aktiviti terdekat. SHOPPING!! It will always be in my list.

.minggu lepas.

miszunderstood — Thu, 15 May 2008 08:54:10 +0000

Shai bising2 dah, “Cik Jismin x reti2 nk update blog ke?”

Reti cik shai, tp cik jismin malas bangat. Maaf.

Birthday. How was birthday? Being 24, birthday is definitely NOT sweets, sugar & everything nice. It felt so mundane, yet I felt matured. I flee home, seeking comfort & protection from the place I know that could offer me that. Plus, it’s a triple celebration for me. My birthday, Ayah’s birthday & pre- Mother’s Day as I couldn’t come home on the 11th. And also meeting the sisters. Adek as annoying as always and Nana now can wheeled me around Ipoh anytime she is home in her pink Kancil. I like.

I received the most precious birthday present from an unexpected person. Just like Nana said, “Kabel kamu sudah kuat ye”. Huhu, xde la Nana. Biarlah Ibu nak berbaik2 dengan kak yong. Apalah kamu.

I Love You Ibu. To compare the brooch I get for you with this is totally unmatchable. Ayah jangan jeles tau. Hikhik.

Then, last Wednesday, I went for the GREEN programme interview. I know nothing about the management question they asked on the objective paper, but I know I excelled in my interview one-on-one session. It’s the thing I know I can do the best; TALKING. Whether in Malay or English. Sadly, that’s the only skill I learned thru my Uni years. Even better than my programming skills. And thanx to my job, I’m adapting to a better slang and I realize I pronounced things better and with style *haha, apa ko merepek & angkat bangkul ni Jis?*

Let’s hope the outcome is overwhelming

After the interview session, moiself went around Time Square (as the interview was held at the Convention Centre) and went scavenging for good bargain again, and went home with this.

White Dress(RM15), Cute Flat (RM15), DVD – bought previously was Hero,
Nodame & Proposal Daisakusen SP. The new one are Cat Returns
& Kiki’s Delivery Service. The Jay Chou’s DVD is for Madam Shai

Notice that the dress and the shoe bear the same price. I wouldn’t say the flat is that comfy, I need to plaster at the back of my heel or at the back of the shoe to prevent blister. Still, it’s cute. And I’m intended to buy another one with different design, sooner. And I splurge myself again at Mr Ramen. This time, I tried the Asam Laksa Soba. Sgt cair la kuahnya. But I like Tom Yam fried soba. Delicious. The California Handroll is good too, because I normally loathe it. It’s good because I can eat it!! Next time, I want to try the Shabu Shabu steamboat pulak. Anyone to join me?

The scrumptious Asam Laksa Set at MR Ramen

And last weekend, me & Masni decided to got to Bukit Tinggi. I won’t tell much as I’m still waiting for pix from Masni but here’s a glimpse of the place. We invited Shai to tag along but she had some family plan (how’s your Pedas Spring?)

And last night, me & cousin catch the Marie Digby Live in KL showcase at OU. I’m not really a fan of hers, but hey, it’s a free show. Why not come along. I managed to snap few pix of hers, though it’s from the side only. Jadi laaaa.

.entri rojak.

miszunderstood — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:06:58 +0000

Wah, mmg sejak 2 minggu lalu, hidup aku dipenuhi berjumpa dgn rakan-rakan. Memang cemerlang sgt. Jadi terpaksa rojak-rojakkan entri, nk letak semua sekali gak.

Zai, Yan & Me

One of my oldest friend, Zai had finally come home to Malaysia. So me & Yan decided to meet her after so long. Even for me & Yan, this is the 2nd time we met ever since both us came to KL last December. Busy sgt dik non.

The journey started with Yan & I ventured to Pesta Buku Antarabangsa at PWTC. People are full & packed like sardine. I didn’t found anything, but Yan got her Ramli Awang Murshid’s and I promoted Shai‘s book. Then, we took the train to Kelana Jaya and took a bus ride to Sunway Piramid to meet Zai at Hart’s Chicken Buffet. Zai, still the same Zai. Only a bit feminine. Dah 11 tahun kita kenal. Percaya x??

Reflection pix: Me, Zai & Yan

Me, Nedd & Zai

At MRSM Taiping everyone knows, where you can see me, you can found Nedd & sometimes Zai. The best thing with these people, they know me the best and xkan pandang serong to all my sarcastic and panah petir jokes. We laughed like we own the Old*Town Kopitiam at The Curve. We talked almost about everything. And yes, when you’re with Geng Set, no matter how much you’ve changed, once you start talking to the members, abes la keluar balik semua perangai lama. Hehe.

We had lunch at Vivo. Great & affordable food. But I only remembered to took the pictures of the food, not us. Amende tah.

Me, Yan & O-on

O-on reside at Sabah. She owns a shop there, selling tudung, kain ela, clothes and that liking. She came to Semenanjung to pile the stock and visit the family. Asked Yan, O-on keluar duit betul2 mcm taiko. Wahaha. Kami jeles amat ini. Yours truly and Yan took the chance to bought some tudung as well. All I can say, for 5 pieces of tudung corak2 that I can lilit2, it cost me only RM20. Heaven la weyh.

I decided to belanja them at The Chicken Rice Shop. Some gossips and later brings the snapping pictures right at the middle of Time Square. I don’t care.

O-on is the one in Choc coloured tudung

Me, Shai & Masni

I really wanted to meet these babes ages ago. I visit Shai‘s blog almost everyday to get my daily dose of laughter. Her daily musings of simple things locked me entry by entry. Masni is another blogger whom frequently visit Shai‘s blog as well & we just clicked like that. Most probably because we’re almost in the same boat and we understand each other problem.

So, these 3 gorjes blogger babes finally meet up at SACC, Shah Alam. Like I told you Shai, suara kamu amat comey. Hehe, and Masni is so petite, I really must ask you how you shed those kilos. Seriously. Me, the clumsy but yet pretends to be elegant Jis. Hehe. It’s fun meeting you guys, especially bashing that particular person. And to Masni, sila la belek gambar comot ini puas2. Hehe.

Shai, Masni & Me

PAC

I kinda missed PAC. It really made me feel brilliant (you’re right there Shai. Sweats of intelligence, hehe). I met my old schoolmate back in Main Convent. We instantly clicked. And instead of meeting Shai’s Scoffiled, I met my own Zahid. Seriously, he looks like Zahid.

Me & Yana

And today, it’s my birthday. I had a weird dream last night. Most probably because I keep on rewinding this skit over & over again, wishing I’m that girl. Please view my old blog to watch the skit.

In that dream, me, Zai & Nedd melawat Jepun by boarding this train. Naik kt Bukit Bintang, and the fare is only RM106.35. All of us are excited especially me. Takot pon ada bcoz we can’t read & talk Japanesse and as you might know, those Japanesse can’t talk English. We met this one kakak that helps us getting the most suitable place to stay with affordable price. Non of us shop bcoz of the currency exchange. I dragged Nedd & Zai to watch the recording of one of Arashi No Shukudai-kun, their show.

During the show, I was selected as one lucky audience and I asked MatsuJun to act that skit with me. He was so amazed of having a fan from Malaysia, some more a Malay, he decided to follow us around. And I asked him to take pix with me at Ebisu Garden Place Tower Clock, an important place from Hana Yori Dango. Haha! Gila merepek, tp gila nikmat tidurku, terima kasih atas mimpi yg sgt indah.

I’m 24, hear me roar. I’m single, hear me roar!!

alhamdulillah

miszunderstood — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:42:17 +0000

I’ve lots to tell. the weekends i had, I spent happily with wondrous people. New & old friends, as someone sinically told me; “People can’t stick with you all the time Jis. Find new friends” Well, I have people whom I have befriended more than 10 years. Xyah nak sombong2 ok. Tau la you’re bored with me and the new girl is far interesting than I am.

But with these news I received on just 5 days apart, there’s no words escaped my mouth other than “Alhamdulillah, Syukur Ya Allah”

Yes, I do believe there’s always a reason when sadness storm into our life. I still remembered when I flunked my return class for Data Structure, how I somehow failed my groupmate as well because of my pc was really infected with viruses and chose not to be working well when I was just about to send those files to my lecturer. Ironic, isn’t it. But it’s true. After the incident, I met 4 great people who were close to me back then. One of them was the person who gave the statement above.

In every cloud, there’s a silver lining. Yup, I believe in that.

Today, I missed him the most.

The most that it wretched & squeezed my heart so tight, sometimes I feel I can’t breathe. I’m proud of myself because for the past 2 weeks, I manage to ignore him completely. But I broke all those rules today, I just can’t help it. I felt down & sorrow.

But thanx to my auntie who lend me the book; “You Can Be The Happiest Woman In The World” or in Malay, the book will be called “Jangan Bersedih Lagi”. Some of those words, that reminds me that I still have lots of love filling around me, it elevate the sorrow & empty feelings.

And then, came the sms that informed me that I’m selected for an interview session for the GREEN’s programme. That moment, I was blessed. Blessed & so thankfull to God, I had my sujud syukur there & then without really knowing whether it’s the right way or not.

I am, in the midst of preparing myself for my PTD assesment this weekend. I was, actually, shocked that I passes the PTD test.

Itulah, kuasa Tuhan. Tak ada siapa bole halang. And seriously, I am too thankful to The One for giving me good things after the bad things that happened. I won’t actually called it ‘bad’. Let’s called it ‘unintended’. That sounds better.

Again, it’s the love & support from you peeps that can me a stronger woman. I’m already standing on my own. Just sometimes, I wobble. The supports that you guys gave will hold me a bit longer than usual, Insya Allah.

Terima Kasih, Ya Allah.

p/s: I wish I could share these happiness with him. I wish.

antara penang & kuala lumpur

miszunderstood — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:22:10 +0000

Seorang di utara, seorang di tgh2 semenanjung Malaysia; Kuala Lumpur lah tu, tapi masih sempat shopping sama-sama.

“Ko size berapa ni?”

“Kalau bole aku nak kaler putih jugak. Merah pun xpe”

“Aku x jumpa la kaler putih. Warna merah tomato ada la”

“Betul la weyh, aku dah naik pitam nk pilih yg mana satu”

“Ko pusing-pusing la dulu. Mana tau ada yang lain” – Ko tau x kedai ni besar? Huhu

“Aku jumpa kaler putih yg ko nak. Suka la tu”

“Acc no plis”

Betul la kata Shila, For*ever 21 mmg cayalah. Ada satu trench coat tu, yg betul2 mcm yg saya suka. Kotak2, kaler merah itam. Just nice. Harga? RM 90 je. Tapi sayang, saya ni “comel” sgt, x dapat nak sumbat dgn size M. Mungkin Tuhan nak suruh beringat2, jangan excited sgt beli itu ini. Atau Tuhan nak bgtau, “Jgn membazir. Kain dh beli, ambil gambar sudah. Cari tailor handalan untuk buatkan trench coat kamu”. Oh, mungkin betul.

Alih-alih, kedua-dua chic blogger ni rembat coat kaler putih. Tunjuk saya punya sajalah. Babe punya, kene mintak izin dia dulu nak tayang-tayang kat blog. Oh, I’m so in love with my white coat.

Soalan menarek lg sentap; “Bilanya kamu nak pegi oversea ni?” Ha ha.

Berapa? RM 119. Oooh. Memang heaven. Saya xtau la, saya ni gadis yg keberapa termakan entry Shila. Haha.

p/s: wordpress ni mmg elok edit kt IE ke? jenuh edit kt FF, x cantik jdnya. Explanation anyone?

family

miszunderstood — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:45:13 +0000

Come rain & shine, catastrophe or bliss, family stick together. Such a unique unit, how they bind and wrapped together.

And why am I talking about family?

Many of you might not know this, my family functions very weirdly. We’re the losers in saying “I Love You” or “I’m Sorry” (ok shai, maybe your family can share the same trophy). But still, we stick together. We can fight like today’s the end of the world and the next day, we simply catcall each other ‘bodoh’ and laughed about it. No matter how big the arguments & misunderstandings, we attach together.

For example, I was furious my dad didn’t take the courtesy to buy me an advance ticket to KL today and landed me a tix at 10.30 am. Imagine, I arrived last Friday at 10 pm and I need to wake early on Saturday for that S*PA test and God knows that will take all day. Which left me few quality times at home. Upon hearing my reply of, “Kak Yong xnak balik pagi2 la Ayah. Penat tau”, the dead silence tone on my handphone is clearly the sign of my father being pissed off at me.

The good thing is, I didn’t sulk or being sarcastic as I always be (see, I told that certain person, I’ve grown up) and my Father talked to me back first thing in the morning. And we can simply talk like normal father-daughter as if nothing happened (which of course I said my sorry, xmo jd anak derhaka). See, that’s a family.

And all these whie, I always thought and assume that person is my family. Yes, I was right. But I was never that person’s family. Although the whole of that person’s family including uncle, aunts and org kampung had known me, I’m STILL NOT A FAMILY. Although I had been angry, mad, broken hearted, devastated, lack of trust and sad; I forgive that person. Because family forgive each other. Family can’t be mad at each other for that long. Family laugh at mistakes that we assume was big at that moment but turned out to be ridiculously silly later. We laugh, accept, forgive & forget because we are family. So, what’s the point having a relationship with a person who doesn’t think you dearly as family? I guess this is goodbye then.

I know it will be hard, it won’t be an easy ride. But I have others. Although all the people I love tend to leave me, I still have those people who love me. Old & new friends, far or near, they are there for me. Not all the the times, definitely. They have their own life to mend & attend. But they will try their best to be here & support me. Aite, babes?

I would like to borrow Babe’s motto: I’m a strong, beautiful, independent woman. Hear me roar!!

They are times I will feel down & low, please, help me to pick up myself. They will be times when I think there’s no point in doing anything, please slap me to give me a wake up call. They are times when I just simply need you to be there for me, please, support me. I want to have a new life & beginning.

I.Want.A.Life. Period

pre & post-II permulaan baru

miszunderstood — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:59:41 +0000

Kadang-kadang, untuk pura-pura lari dari masalah, kita terpaksa pura-pura gembira atau pura-pura bersuka ria. Jadi, setelah kita berpura-pura, mungkin sedikit sebanyak perasaan gembira itu akan terbit. Dan lumrahlah dengan benda yang dipaksa, ia pasti tidak kekal tahan lamanya. Jadilah. Gembira sekejap walaupun pura-pura. Apa para wanita selalu buat untuk pura-pura gembira?

Membelah dompet; jawapan yang paling tepat.

Pre – permulaan baru

Dibeli hasil simpanan U*nit T*rust. Ayah bilang; “Duit Kak Yong. Kak Yong pandai-pandai pikir sendiri”. Ye lah Ayah. Bukan Kak Yong pakai hu ha walau ada. Kak Yong pakai untuk kerja. And if you’re wondering what wallpaper I have on my lappy, it’s definitely ARASHI

Ini untuk hiburan masa lapang. Shai, aku kena agree dengan kau, sub anime beli kedai sangat hodoh. Baik la tgk anime sub yg download. Lebih sempurna bahasanya. Dah malas & xde masa (juga xde internet laju macam air terjun), kena la pilih alternatif kedua; beli. Anime Haruhi lama dah nak download, tapi susah sebab kena license. Second DVD is Nodame Cantabille Special Lesson. *Chiaki punya rambut sangat x best. Tapi, ending best*

Post-II permulaan baru

Kenapa post-ii?? Sebab perkara yang betul-betul kira post tu, bendanya masih ada dekat babe. Babe! Aku mau gambar. Ngeee. Orang tuh nak periksa, ko sibuk-sibuk mintak gambar pulak. Aku kadang-kadang suka shopping sorang-sorang. Sebab, kadang-kadang, bukan sumorang suka ikot jalan ke hulu ke hilir x dapat apa. Aku pun x suka. Lain kalau masing-masing dah tau beli apa. Senang. Tapi, tu kadang-kadang. Aku suka je jugak ada yang nak meneman. Tapi, harap bersabar je lah ye.

Grey’s Anatomy Season 3. Ye, ye. Aku lamba. Biar lambat, janji tengok. DVD, courtesy of pakcik aku. Next to it, is Nodame Cantabille:Anime. Ini sudah melanggar pantang larang aku di mana, kalau baca manga, xleh tgk anime or live action & vice versa. But Nodame is too ‘gila’ to be neglected. Hehe.

Kenapa aku sangat teruja dengan dompet ni? Sebab dah laaaaaama sangat aku carik dompet mcm ni. Sebab? Sebab Makino ada satu. Tapi Makino punya cantik. Kaler purple, ada manik, embroidery, sequin. Tapi ni pon jadila.

Dan, haruslah biggest catch of the day is the accessories holder. Cincin itu pun sgt cute. Tapi, tau x, sebenarnya berapa harga accessories holder tu?

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

Jikalau anda tidak dapat melihat dengan jelas, harga yang tertulis adalah RM45.00. Diulang, RM45.00. Mati-mati la selama ni aku dtg S&M ni aku nampak RM5.00. Sebab tu aku ambil dengan yakinnya. Aku dah cuak bila nampak RM45.00 kat registry, tapi ………. tiba-tiba, bole jadi RM22.50 pulak kt registry. Aik, mana satu ni. Aku pusing-pusing, tengok sekeliling, kemudian senyum lebar. 50% off, all items!! Jadi, mari kita revise hasil rembatan kali ini.

Holder – RM 45.00 reduce to: RM22.50
Cincin – RM 2.00 reduce to: RM1.00 (x 2)
Dompet – RM 5.00 reduce to: RM 2.50
Grand Total: RM 27.00

Lantas aku berasa, bijaknya aku ini. Hoho. Aku gembira, tapi x pasti kekal lama atau x gembira aku ni.

permulaan baru

miszunderstood — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:36:32 +0000

Apa rasanya berpindah blog? Perlu ke ada sesuatu rasa yang lain? Hebat sangatkah bila berpindah blog?

Tidak. Berpindah blog adalah satu perkara yang biasa.

Walaupun biasa, tapi aku rasa ia sesuatu yang luar biasa. Ada 2 sebab:

1. Sebab aku seorang yang setia. Datanglah Myspace ke Facebook, aku tetap dgn Friendster. Ini contoh sahaja. Pendek kata, aku setia.

2. Aku ingin lari dr beberapa org. Org yg have too much info about me & i regretted telling them that. Yup, I need to run from them. Kalo x nanti, harus aku kena ugut kurung dalam reban sbb x update. Tapi, tu kisah dulu. Abaikan.

So, di sinilah aku akhirnya. Rebranding my own self? Is there such things? I have no idea. But that’s what I’m trying to do.

4 months ago I came to KL to start a whole new life. I was hurt by my then BF. Partly were his fault and the other half landed on me. It was not a good thing. Waktu itu, aku percaya aku tabah. Aku bole hidup tanpa dia. Aku dh bersedia utk hidup tanpa dia.

I came to KL, search for jobs without him knowing and he only knew the fact when I had the first interview with my current job. He was not happy then. And I spilled to him my unhappiness. I WAS, arrogant. But deep down, all I want was not to be hurt with the same issues & excuses.

I said things. Stupid, arrogant things. Things which I regretted saying them. Tapi, dah terlajak cakap, memanglah payah untuk diundur.

Oh yes, he was hurt. I don’t know where he get those courage to still come & see me, talk to me even persuaded me to be with him. It took so much for a man like him, such big pride and ego; to admit and pleads to me. It’s like Man U scoring 4 nil in the match with Arsenal. That good. And being the spoiled ordinary girl, I easily fell to his words and charms. I didn’t admit it, but I gave him lots of chances.

And then I blew it. I blew everything. Aku secara x langsung buat dia mcm kuli. It was unintended, but that’s what I did. And things never goes the same. Then, the biggest bomb landed;

“I don’t have any feelings towards you”

I ….. was utterly clueless, speechless and have lost all sense & direction hearing those words. All these time, the only thing that I’m always certain in my life, is him. No matter what happened, I know, he will always love me. Which clearly made me this intolerable girl that learn she can do anything and the bf will love her back. I didn’t realize at first. It came quite late to my senses actually & regretted it so much.

Funny isn’t it, you realize so many things when the unexpected happens. I realize, I was never supportive of what he is doing. That I kind of loathe the things he likes. I don’t know why. And after some hard thinking, I knew the answer. I’m just plainly perfectionist like my mother, which actually I tried very hard not to be. I kinda hate her personality but still loves and adore her as my mum. I’m everything I hate about my mum.

And bloody perfectionist.

I’m no difference than Zaniel in Shai’s new novel, Plain Jane. I love to construct things. I’ll be honoured if I can change something ugly or not useful to another great invention. That is just me. Which explains why I always kinda fell for guys that have big ego & pride (same goes to friends).

Let’s look at the history: I was soooo in love with Conner McDermott from SVH which clearly a chauvinist, Domyouji of HYD, bit of Mr Darcy; you get the idea. Because I want to take the credits when they become a better them. Yes, I do. And he, he plainly love me the way I am. Never changes a single thing, never complain anything. Love me for me. I kind of drag him to do the things he loathe. And he did it, because he wants to make me happy. Such guy, he can do so much, but I just couldn’t see it. Why? Ok, he is a nice guy, with big ego & pride.

And kepunyaan diri yang tinggi, as he said so.

At this moment, I clearly felt like Makino in Hana Yori Dango Return: Episode 10. The time when Domyouji knocked his head and remembers everything except for Makino. How Makino tried to reminiscence the memories they had together. And how Domyouji will yell & shout because he is irritated by her. That’s me. Me = Makino. And yes, he’s my Domyouji. The way he loved, the way he expresses things. He’s clearly my Domyouji. And because I’m Makino Tsukushi(Strong Weed), I’ll never stop trying.

I am indeed a complete thick face-delusional-moron.

They said, forget him. But I can’t. Not at this moment, at this time. I can’t. I need to fight. I need to know at least I tried. 6 years is a long time. 6 yrs, a kid can go to a kindergarden. A tree can bear fruits. The house will look old & mousy. 6 years. I’ll be mad if I just let go my 6 years like that.

Over some misunderstanding and arrogance that we both have.

It’s the support from you that I need. So I know at least I’m not that delusional & moron at all. Support me will you?

p/s: ok shai, I tried to write wittily in Malay like you but I just plainly can’t. I accidentally switch back to English unpurposely. Teach me how to be like you.

p/s: Lesson need to learn: How to Support Your BF When You Doesn’t Agree with his Hobbies?? Anyone?